Many procedures and traditions in childbirth are controversial. It is especially difficult for expecting parents because sometimes even the experts disagree, leaving the parents facing some tough decisions. Remember, there is more than one side to every issue. There are benefits and risks to almost everything. Parents have the right and the responsibility to learn as much as they can about these issues and to make educated choices.
How to calmly discuss controversial issues with your birthteam:
1. Offer a sincere compliment. “I chose your practice because…” or “I have been really impressed by your ability to…”.
2. Calmly share your concerns.
3. Tell them what you have learned and cite where you learned it.
4. Give them an opportunity to tell you how they feel about it. Listen carefully and with an open mind.
5. Ask any specific questions that you may have about this issues, and wait for educated specific answers.
6. If you are unable to resolve the issue at that time, calmly inform your birth team that you will continue researching the topic and would appreciate any written information they can share.
7. If necessary, ask if there would be any harm done if a specific procedure was delayed or an alternate procedure was substituted until you decide how you feel.
8. Thank them sincerely for their time and concern. Compliment them on their openness.